Wednesday, June 25, 2008

one forward, three back

It seems news of my recovery was slightly premature. It seems, also, in this particular moment that hope is heavily camouflaged as struggle. I'm not sure I'm ready for the struggle. I'm not sure why I make things so difficult for myself. I'm not sure when or how the light will return and I'm not even sure what I'm going to do today to try and make a difference. But mostly I'm not sure why I find everything such a struggle when clearly there are millions of people out there with a real and gigantic reason for hurting. I don't know. I just don't.

2 comments:

diana said...

I'm sorry to hear you're not going so well. I'm absolutely hating winter at the moment. Come round anytime or call me if you just need a vent. I've got absolutely no work at the moment so am home most days crafting.

jodi said...

thanks so much .. actually not half an hour after i posted yesterday, my new red laptop arrived a week early and cheered me up somewhat! then narelle rang, and she and ben and their baby tate are coming to visit on saturday, which kind of sealed the deal. the universe told me to wake up to myself. but i'd love to come visit next week, will call you.
thanks again.