Saturday, June 28, 2008

are you receiving?

So I asked the universe for help. And literally within the hour I had received my brand new laptop (one week early) and received a phone call from a dear friend who, it turns out, was coming to see me this weekend, one month earlier than expected. Good things were brought forward for no other reason than to show me that help is out there. Friends are out there. And shiny red laptops are right here, helping me to write these very words.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

one forward, three back

It seems news of my recovery was slightly premature. It seems, also, in this particular moment that hope is heavily camouflaged as struggle. I'm not sure I'm ready for the struggle. I'm not sure why I make things so difficult for myself. I'm not sure when or how the light will return and I'm not even sure what I'm going to do today to try and make a difference. But mostly I'm not sure why I find everything such a struggle when clearly there are millions of people out there with a real and gigantic reason for hurting. I don't know. I just don't.

Monday, June 2, 2008

my reading list



A very special delivery arrived last week from amazon.com and I'm already struggling to know which one to read first. Rather than make the decision, I've been flicking through all three and finding little gems in all of them that are so close to the mark it would be scary, if it weren't so exciting and liberating at the same time.