time waits for no mum

The past seven weeks have been pretty special, to say the least, and I have been floating on a cloud that's an equal mix of hormones, a happy baby and - in keeping with the letter of the day - a husband on holidays. I'm pretty sure my own frame of mind made all these things even better, and I'm about to find out how strong that frame really is. All good things, including husband's holidays, must come to an end, and today I flew solo in the morning school run with no reported turbulence. Lunches were made, breakfasts eaten, clothes dutifully worn, hair brushed, teeth brushed, shoes .. check, check, check .. car keys .. check .. baby .. check. There were no tears at school (not even from me) and as I drove home with my one remaining pre-school child, it seemed all eventualities had been accounted for. Then came the surprise. I was expecting noise to come from inside the car, and not from me or the radio. I wanted, and for a split second fully expected, to hear "Where are we going now Mum?". My seven-week-old bundle, oblivious to all but the most basic of earthly needs, did not oblige. And for a moment I was left longing for the passenger I had just left behind, at a stop called kindergarten, on the first leg of her journey.
Time, you must cry farewell, take up the track. And leave this lovely moment at your back. - Kenneth Slessor

monday's child

And now she is here. How did the earth ever turn without her? She arrived at 10.06pm on Monday, January 11, 2010 in the most perfect way, into arms that were made to hold her. I cannot believe my good fortune, though I owe many thanks to Kate, Kim, Jacqui, Marlene, Josephine, Harriet and all the other good women who were watching over me and Rosa as she made her way into the world.
Today there are wonderful people enduring terrible sadness and the injustice of it is almost unbearable. All I can do is look around me and see my many blessings, count them, savour them, and be eternally, overwhelmingly grateful. Every one of them is so precious.

and nine became ten

I guess it would be remiss of me not to properly farewell what's been a pretty momentous year, so on this last day of 2009 I'm taking a moment to remember how very far I've come, and my family with me. Elsa has lost teeth, grown inches (sometimes it seems like a whole foot!) and rarely lost her beautiful smile. Freya has embraced playgroup and grown inches too, but her real growth has been on the inside and I'm so proud of her for that. Randal and I have devoted most of the year to a very special project that will soon bear fruit, as it were, and I can't quite believe how close we are to meeting the new person who's going to live at our house and share it all with us. I'm torn between wanting to meet her and wanting her to stay put just for a few more days. Hoping very much for the latter, and feeling confident it will come to be.
I feel older, wiser and happier today than ever in my life. How lucky I am to be able to say that. I don't have any desire to stay up until midnight to see out this year, although it's been so good to me. I will be blissfully happy to have my comfortable bed, my children sleeping soundly in theirs and the knowledge that tomorrow is another day, another year, and anything is possible. Happy 2010.

actually it is quite a big deal

Why yes, I am most definitely pregnant. No doubts about that, even among complete strangers. Some of whom seem mildly alarmed when I tell them I'm not due until late January - the raised eyebrows are a dead giveaway. But then there are the women at the school gate who tell me how lovely I look - one even used the expression "absolutely beautiful" - and bless their hearts doesn't it make my day. I find it amazing that (some) women have this innate understanding that a pregnant woman, no matter how well her day is going, could always use a little compliment. And when she's feeling huge, tired, faint, hot, ungainly and irritable that compliment is like a bear hug for the soul. I love that there are these kinds of women in the world, and that some of them can't resist rubbing your belly and smiling. It's a source of aggravation for a lot of pregnant women but for me it's just nice to know someone appreciates what you're going through and can see beyond the sometimes mundane nature of being pregnant to the miraculous.

whatever the weather

You might be wondering, as am I, what happened to the whole month known as September. I vaguely recall a couple of positively beautiful days that had me singing "Spring oh sweet Spring" and taking a lot of time - literally - to smell the roses. But then those days vanished, blown by the wind that clearly misread the calendar and thought it was still August. Maybe it couldn't see straight for the 10,000 tonnes of topsoil it brought with it from the region formerly known as a dustbowl (when it still had dust). Then there were several days of coldness and wetness, which I was pretty sure would not last since my birthday was just around the corner and it's October for pity's sake! Apparently with each of these annual milestones I grow more clueless about the weather.

So, last birthday I clearly recall an early morning swim at Nambucca Heads. This year the idea of swimming in anything other than hot springs was out of the question. But we did see sun, and a bit of rain, and hundreds of the most beautiful roses ever to raise their lovely heads, at a not-so-little garden not so far from here. I came home to admire my own beautiful bunch of roses, eat chocolate cake and marvel at my good fortune - my Elsa, my Freya, my Rosa and my Randal to keep me company and make it the kind of Happy Birthday you just won't find in any greeting card.

Now it's almost halfway through October, and I have three more days of work before my 58 weeks of maternity leave starts. Whatever the bureau has to say, the forecast from Friday is for blue skies.

in other growing news

This incredible flower was grown in my own garden, with very little input by me except that I planted the rose bush some years ago, in among some much older ones. It produces less than a handful of blooms each year, but it didn't half make an effort with this one. It's almost a hand-span across, and just keeps stretching out its petals, puffing out its chest. It's called a Double Delight, which is somewhat misleading since it clearly is much more delightful than that. I guess it was so named because it has two colours, but it might also be that it looks and smells totally intoxicating. And in my case, it might also be because I'm both surprised and delighted when it rewards my lack of gardening know-how with such a stunning bloom every now and again, when I least expect it. Delightful.

now showing

Maybe it was the vegie burger I had for lunch. Or the two hot chocolates. Or the large slice of chocolate cake (it was a special occasion). But I like to think this baby is finally beginning to make its presence felt to people other than myself. Luckily I wore my new maternity jeans to lunch - $65 at Jeans West (yes, Jeans West sells maternity jeans) and oh, so comfortable. I have a new and deep appreciation for stretch cotton and waistbands that reach up to your boobs.