Thursday, January 24, 2008

At the end of this path

Time marches on. It is weeks into a new year, and thoughts have turned to real change, not just superficial promises. I took the girls and Sunday for a very long walk yesterday, on a path we had never travelled before, and it was lovely. I'm not sure who enjoyed it more, though Sunday was quite delighted to find a duck pond at the end of it. When the girls grew a bit weary and asked 'Mum, where's the duck pond?' all I could answer, quite honestly, was 'At the end of this path'. There was a moment during our walk that I really wanted to keep. I even had the urge to find my mobile phone and take a picture so it would stay with me forever, but then I decided I could write about it, and keep the image inside my head.

I came around the corner then, and saw her standing, watching me from such a distance that she looked quite small. Just a tiny girl, I thought, and then I realised just how small, how precious, how fleeting, was this moment in her life, in our lives. She had never seemed so small, not even when I held her for the very first time, when she was barely as big as my own two hands. She had taken up so much of my world that I had never realised what a tiny soul she really was. And now I watch her, watching me, waiting for me to catch up to her, but I am suddenly aware that soon she will be on her own way, and I will not be able to catch up to her. I want to run to her and hold her and tell her how precious she is, how precious this day is to me. She just smiles up at me, and we walk the rest of the way side by side.